i'll push the corners neatly into place as i explain
how i tear myself apart
so scared to say i need you
when tears keep sliding down,
down the corners of my eyes
i washed my hair for you
wore lace thongs
sprayed perfume on the nape of my neck,
tenderly spread strawberry chapstick over my lips,
curled the blonde lashes that hold tears like a ladder,
like i'm waxing poetic
and then, it all seems to go to shit
i realize that none of that matters when
i don't matter
no scintillating, orderly routine can make me
good enough
no powder
no rose sparkles spread on my cheeks
there are a million ways to comfort yourself
but they only last until you say,
what do you want from me?
and i can't supply an answer
except to say,
love. replacement.
