*number* time's the charm

i always knew
somehow, i could hear the whisper

he will break your heart

i could waste time asking why and
searching for a pulse
i could waste time asking you why
and digging up threads and seams
that just
end

maybe, even better,
i can make my body swell
with love and grief
and try to forget you and all the others
happened

it's a kind of dreaded cycle
i'm still on rinse and repeat